Activities for the Dying

Making the Most of Remaining Days

Now is the time to make the most of what days remain. However, there is a great deal of variability in functional capability at the end of life. What you can do with your loved one will depend on the abilities that they retain.

For people who are still able, this is the time to complete unfinished business. This includes both financial and legal business as well as emotional business. Parents will want to be reassured that children will be cared for. Reconciliation and mending of relationships can occur. Now is a good time to allow people to apologize for wrongs that they perceive they have committed. This is also often a time for life review. It is a time to remember life's accomplishments and to encourage your loved one to enjoy the memories of successes, milestones, and achievements.

Coming to Terms with Death

This may be an important time to come to terms with death. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross described five common emotional responses to dying, (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) which may occur in any pattern. A terminally ill person may appreciate having some assistance from a counselor or therapist to help them deal with their emotional health.

Enhancing the Quality of Life

Enjoy activities that enhance the quality of life. Consider driving along the beach or reading a book to your loved one while sitting on the porch. You may both enjoy relaxation exercises, massage therapy, aromatherapy, listening to music or spending private time with family and friends.

The Importance of Human Contact

Remember the importance of human contact. At the end of life, people often express that they would want someone with them, to share their thoughts and fears, someone holding their hand or gently touching them. Don't worry about finding the right thing to say. The ability to listen well is much more important.

People may want the chance to express their spirituality through music, art, religion, nature or meditation. This is the time to receive blessings from the clergy, to seek forgiveness from God, family and loved ones, and to be at peace with others and ourselves.

As dying draws nearer, your loved one may have less ability to move or even communicate. Continue to treat them with respect. Continue to talk to them. Hearing is felt to be the last sense to go, so let them know that you are there and that you love them. Hugs, kisses, hand holding and gentle massage can convey what words may fail to say.