Caregiving Tips

Learning How to Take Care of a Loved One

While it is easy to become immersed in the care of a terminally ill person and to think there is no time left to care for yourself, imagine what would happen to your loved one if you allow yourself to "burn out".

It may be helpful to learn from others who have "been there", through books, support groups or friends. While you can learn from others' experiences, realize that each relationship and each situation is different and don't compare yourself to another caregiver. You will find that all caregivers need to set limits on what they can do for others. You will need to realistically evaluate how much time, energy, money and other resources you can give up without damaging your own physical, emotional and financial health.

Where to Get Help

Enlist help where you can. Support may come from family, hired helpers, community resources or from national organizations.

You may want to consider hospice care. Hospice programs can provide services from companions and clergy, to nurses and medication.

Other organizations such as the American Cancer Society or the American Heart Association may have volunteers available to provide necessary relief such as transportation to doctor's office visits.

The National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA), a national advocacy group, offers support with services such as access to a professional caregiver advisory service, a prescription drug discount program and a bereavement kit.

Allow other family members to help, even if they don't do things exactly the way you would. If the care of your loved one is prolonged, consider respite care. This is temporary nursing home care or full-time home care for a week or weekend, in order to allow you to go to a wedding out of town, attend a graduation or rest at home alone.

Caring for Yourself Is Equally Important

Care for your emotional well-being. Keep in contact with friends and others who can give you encouragement and positive energy. Take time out; walk on the beach, take a warm bath, watch a funny movie. You may find it helpful to join a support group or to have visits with a sympathetic minister. Guilt, helplessness, anger, resentment and sorrow are common emotions that may appear and reappear; it is best to recognize and deal with these emotions before they wear down your energy.

Care for your body. This will pay off in physical and emotional dividends. Try to get enough sleep every night. Since your nighttime sleep may be disrupted by the altered sleep cycles of the person you are caring for, you may need to nap during the day. Keep up with your own doctor's appointments. While you are there, talk to your doctor about a healthy diet and ask about an exercise program. Avoid the urge to use medications or alcohol as a substitute for good healthy habits.

Laughter Is Good Medicine

Humor is restorative at all stages of life, even in the shadow of death. A patient who has always had a great sense of humor, or a relationship that thrived with wit should not be expected to change at this stage of life. Humor should not be abandoned because of an unnecessary expectation that dying must be somber and grim. Laughter is good for you.